and the God of Israel will be your rear guard Isaiah 52:12

"Let the past rest, but let it rest in the sweet embrace of Christ.

I just finished the best chapter in the Bible. Is it ok to say that? Don't take that as a theological statement or anything. I'm just feeling biased at the moment.

Revelation 22. [thats a huge hint to go read it.you won't be sorry] Its been a favorite for the last few months, and was a wonderful way to end this reading challenge.

 Did you catch that? I just finished reading the Bible. And the fact that makes me the happiest is that a number of you have finished already as well. I'm curious how many of you really thought you could do it??

So far I have heard word that Leah (finished in 3 months), Anna (finished in 5 months),Angela, Laura, and Melinda have finished in 6 months. Would anyone else who's finished please comment! To all of you, I am blessed that you were blessed. And I deeply appreciate your accountability.

 If you are not finished by midnight tonight you are automatically disqualified and you lose! please, please don't stop. =] Keep reading those deliciously large amounts of The Word. Keep on keeping on. We're still in this with you by prayer and accountability!

I kept wondering how we should end this. I thought about doing my first blog giveaway or having a drawing of some sorts. I finally decided-- I think all of us gained an incredible amount through reading the Scriptures. I don't want to take away from that. Nothing I can do in celebration of us reaching a goal, can really compare with that. So bloggy party?? Someday. But today lets just relish in God's goodness in the revelation of His written word and strive to share it with others. Please feel free to comment here on what blessed you the most during your journey through the Bible. Also, please link to your "finale" blog posts concerning the challenge. Thanks, thanks, and thanks!

"The Spirit and the bride say, 'Come.' And let him that heareth say, 'Come.' And let him that is athirst come. And whosoever will, let him take the water of life freely." Revelation 22:17

This old song sure puts everything going on in my life, 

into the right perspective. Thankful this morning that I 

can trust instead of trying and failing miserably. 

I can rest instead of  running and losing the race.

I can pray instead of endlessly worrying about the future.

Everyone says it, and pretty much all the time. But can I just say? WHERE in the WORLD does 2010 think its going in such a hurry?? Seriously?

I had every intention of writing a post on the midway mark for the Bible Reading Challenge. I did. I did. I truly did. Just like I had every intention of writing my dear aunt a birthday note. ...Back in February. ...And still haven't gotten to it. *sigh*

But the time passing quickly is no excuse, because truthfully, time always passes quicker than we think it will. 

So having gotten that squared away... Hows it going? Specifically, your Bible reading? I think now would be a good time for everyone who is still with us on the journey, to in one shape or form report their progress. Comment, post, email, etc... Please link to any posts in a comment below so I can be sure and read them and others will know you posted as well.

Any comments like ' You can do it! ' 'You're almost there! ' and ' We love you anyway!' would  also be greatly appreciated. I'm kidding. That's just my lead-in to confirm that yes the rumors are true. I'm behind. And not just a couple of days. More like a couple of weeks.

I promised transparency and I asked it of you too. So I'm showing the innards here. I need ya'll to help me catch up. Lord willing and the creek don't rise, I will be posting my progress every other day until I am caught up. I've said before, I don't want to water down the reading of God's Word by being so driven by 'amount', but honestly I've just not been disciplined in my schedule to really take time out for God's Word. (ever try to read it on the run? Yeah, thats me) And I think this will help me to be more deliberate. They may be really short posts.: "I read 15 chapters today. Feeling refreshed. The End." But knowing I have to write that, will really motivate me.

How did I get so far behind? Well for every legitimate excuse I can think of, I can also think of other activities (uh...hum, facebook, twitter, sleeping) that I could have cut back on and didn't. So they pretty much cancel each other out and leave me very much behind and need of an extra "push" to get me swinging again. I've been trying to wake up 30 minutes earlier in the morning to have more time to read. On work days this means getting up at 4:30. Um yes, prayer would be good.

So, so far today I have read 13 chapters. And I am feeling refreshed. Tired, but refreshed. Only the Lord. : )

2.8 months to go!! Who's still with me??

 His way of showing,   
and the thing shown,   
may not be at all according to the child's expectations.   
But never mind. 

  The Father will give all the help His child needs, 
will take him  by the hand, 
and the child will learn."

{photo- Tana Lee, the baby my family babysits during the week}

I would like to introduce you all to Marcus. he's the real deal and a great friend to all who know him. There are several reasons why I have chosen this day and way of introducing him to you.

First of all, today was his birthday and I want to give him a personal shout out just to say, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

Second of all, he's got a great blog he's got going on over here that you would do well to visit.

Thirdly, he's really been an encouragement to me when it comes to my favorite topic as of late: evangelism. When I blogged about going door to door, Marcus emailed me and shared what had been on his heart. He incredibly graciously has allowed me to post parts of that letter. I can't help but think that it would be beneficial for my blog readers to read someone elses heart on this matter other than my own.

...The past few months God has really been working on my heart about telling others about Him. [a mutual friend] asked me to teach the youth on Sunday nights this past summer, and I really wanted to share with them what I feel that God placed on my heart. I was not very comfortable sharing the gospel with other people, and so I thought we could all learn more about it and practice sharing the gospel so that when God gave us the opportunity we could boldly share. I always thought that I did not know know enough or I would somehow mess it up when I shared the Gospel. As the weeks went by, I learned a lot and God really begin to change my attitude towards evangelism. I could do this, God had called me to do this, but I had to trust in him and open my mouth and let the Holy Spirit speak through me.

Jesus Christ was in Heaven, but he chose to come down to earth and humble himself to die for ME! He was willing to do that for me, but I was too afraid to open my mouth and tell the people I know and the people that live in my town about Him. There was something wrong with that picture...the fear of man was greater than my love for Christ. I told myself that cannot be...I LOVED Jesus and was so grateful for his free gift, but God kept working on my heart..."If you really love me, then why wont you tell others about me?"

I felt so guilty and ashamed, but God continued to work in my life and tell me that he still loved me and had chosen to die for me. Nothing I could do would seperate me from his love. His grace and mercy was more than enough and even though I have failed to share the Gospel with others in times where he has given me the opportunity, he has forgiven me for all the times I stayed quiet.

Anyways, I write all of this to say that I am in the same boat you are in about evangelism. I want to share the Gospel with other people. I want to tell the world of what Jesus had done and the free gift of eternal life. I know that we are in separate states and all, but if you ever want to get people together and go door to door to share the gospel let me know and I will be there if I can. ... If you go door to door while I am here at school text or call me and let me know so that I can partner with yall in prayer. There is a battle for souls going on right now in our world, we need to be bold and share the Truth with the lost.

This summer in our class we came across this quote that I thought was really cool. It really puts it into perspective that we should not be afraid to tell others about Jesus because if we don't tell them, they may not have another chance.

 "If sinners be damned, at least let them leap to Hell over our dead bodies. And if they perish, let them perish with our arms wrapped about their knees, imploring them to stay. If Hell must be filled, let it be filled in the teeth of our exertions, and let not one go unwarned and unprayed for."  --Charles Spurgeon

See? You really should go read his blog and be encouraged. He hasn't been blogging long, but he even has a post about his own 6 month trek through the Bible which I recommend to my fellow Bible challenge readers as having some important insight. 

The Psalms were my food this week. I ate real food too, but it wasn't what really filled me up, you know? The Psalms speak of God's faithfulness and they are, quite literally, God's faithfulness to me as I read them. Read that again. God's word says He's faithful, and the very words that say it, prove it. I'm not sure I give the thought's relevance justice by how I wrote it, but I know that what I meant to say, is truly incredible. Only the Lord.

I also detoured from my reading in the New Testament and read Ruth. I love the story of Ruth and God's faithfulness to her. This song I heard this morning sums up what I really am dwelling on from Ruth's story, and what I'm trying to grasp about every day life.  "It may be unfulfilled . It may be unrestored, but when anything that's shattered is laid before the Lord ..." Listen here: Unredeemed" sung by Selah.

Love to all,
Kaylene 

.David Livingstone.

Shut my mouth
Crush my pride

So much for the post-once-a-week-to-let-ya'll-know-how-its-going idea. But you. You all are amazing. Because between emails, blog posts, comments, and conversations in-person, you've left me encouraged and "accounted" for.  Even during this busy spell I've maintained progress, though definitely not in the daily amounts I had hoped for. (the whole getting-ahead-of-the-game-by-reading-ten-chapters? not happening).

I'll admit, that because of the busyness, I don't always feel as focused in my reading as I would like to be, so you could pray for discipline for me in that area. I'm currently reading in Joshua and John. I've really enjoyed going through the Gospels. The next couple of weeks I will be filling in for a friend, teaching her Good News Club at the school.The Bible lessons I will be teaching the kids will be on the life of Christ, which is what I just got done studying! I like the way He thinks. :-)

Two things that are still prevalent in my mind, from my reading.

I was pondering the death of Moses and the fact that after all he did in service to God, one mistake--just one!--kept him from the promised land. It shed new light on the need for Christ to pay the penalty for my sin. I've done so many things wrong, but even if I had the meekness of Moses (or his resume', if you will) I still wouldn't be good enough to enter the promised land. Not by works, lest any man should boast.

I was really sobered by the innocence of Christ and His unjustified death. Pilot said at least 3 times-- "He is innocent!". And the people raged on. I reflected on the second coming of Christ with a new sort of excitement. Not only will I be set free from the carnal, but JESUS who took MY guilt, will be vindicated. In some ways, that happened at the first resurrection. But at the second resurrection? Every knee shall bow.What a great example Christ is of humility and patience. He did not defend Himself-- He who had only good works to defend with. Someday those who mocked His kingship, will bow at His feet. For we know him that hath said, Vengeance belongeth unto me, I will recompense, saith the Lord. And again, The Lord shall judge his people.

As I watched the faces of the athletes from the individual countries, I, along with the rest of the watching world, really got caught up in the moment. Can you imagine the privilege of walking beneath your country's flag, and personally representing the incredible initiative and hard work that it took to get there?

Now me--I don't really know how to say this-- but I'm an 'international' sort of person. I haven't traveled extensively, but I've never heard of a country I didn't want to personally meet. I find incredible beauty in different cultures and races. It was magnificent to see so many represented, in one place, for one purpose. Even if that purpose was just sports

I sat there watching and thinking.

And then I started getting energized. I felt like singing at the top of my lungs "WHAT A DAY THAT WILL BE!"

Because, believe it or not, there is going to be a day like that.

Think about the the wonder (words fail me) of the privilege of being a  part of  the saints from every nation, someday marching under the banner of Christ and glorifying our Beloved and relishing His victory.

I just can't stop thinking about it.

What a day that will be. I can not wait.

Note: Thanks to all, for your for your feedback via comments, email, or twitter. I'm truly appreciative, and  I am considering all your thoughts. I respect even the differing ones. This is very much a journey for me that is not over yet. I fail more than I care to admit, at sharing the Gospel and taking every opportunity. The least I can do is share the experiences I've had, in hopes of encouraging others.

--------------------------------------------

There's so much I want to say. Please bear with me.

With the undeniable realization that I needed to be a bolder witness, came feelings of inadequacy.  Not the sort that bring feelings of failure necessarily, but rather the kind that motivate. Because of this and multiple other ways that God was leading in, my parents and I began praying more about me attending Shield of Faith Missions Int'l discipleship program. The decision became final as the Lord worked in providential ways for me to go. I moved to Oregon for 7 months. [obviously, nobody needs to go to this extent to be "qualified" to share the Gospel--this is just how the Lord led].

In the first couple of weeks of the training program, my classmates and I were to go door-to-door witnessing. My initial thoughts before we went the first time were that though it sounded awkward, it was something I had signed up for. So I would attempt it whole-heartedly. I wondered though, wouldn't people just lump us in with religious groups that were known for going door-to-door? We are so very different, yet here we are doing something the others are known for.

My prayer was that the Lord would impress on my heart, that He wanted me to do this. It being something the Holy Spirit must lead in, I didn't want to go along with it as merely as a "class requirement".

The first time we went, I was not expecting the feelings of dread that washed over me. It physically weighed me down. I puzzled over it and tossed thoughts back and forth in my mind, in between knocking and doors being shut in our faces.

I wracked my brain for verses to support what we were doing.When we finished that day, I was sick to my stomach. I was still confused about some things, but sure that "Thou shalt not go door-to-door" should have been the 11th commandment. Moses had fallen down on the job.

I went home that evening and begged God that if this was of Him, I needed to see it in His Word. I opened my Bible. I didn't open it to where I had been reading in my daily reading, and with no previous thought of scriptures that might apply to the situation, my hands opened to and my eyes rested on the passage where Jesus tells a couple of His disciples "Follow me. And I will make you fishers of men." Over the next week, I studied how the disciples followed Him.

 I also talked to my accountability partner (part of the program, but also a woman who was to become one of my dearest friends) and expressed my struggles. She nodded her head knowingly as I spilled, but then asked "What if you had baked some bread and offered it to every one of those people, instead of the Gospel?" She asked me if I would have felt like I was trespassing then. It finally hit home-- and shook me up a little over the next few days. The quality of my faith was being tested. If I truly believed those people were going to Hell if they didn't receive Christ, then what is a loaf of bread compared to CHRIST?!

The call was clear. The way was still blurry. I prayed for grace to obey. I went door to door several more times. It still  didn'tseem to be my personality. But it got "easier" each time. I read and read and read the Scriptures. God taught me about fear of man vs. fear of God. I learned about how prayer alters attitudes and perspectives. Not to mention circumstance and conversation.

 At first I simply did it out of obedience to the call. God taught me that it is enough to follow Him. and  that He will make me a fisher of men.

I wish I had time to type all the stories of people we met. We usually went out on a  bi-weekly basis (one day on the street downtown, another going door to door.) We didn't promote a church or denomination. We promoted Jesus. We had tracts that we offered to everyone. Our goal was to use them as a tool to initiate conversation and provoke thought, should we not be given a chance to speak. In the entire 6 months, we never had someone 'pray the prayer'. Because we didn't encourage it. Our goal was to turn their hearts toward a God and his Word Who could answer their questions and could save them from the road they were on and the devastation it leads to. We weren't looking for emotional decisions, we were looking to plant seeds, and yes harvest, but only if the fruit was ripe. Basically, this is what I say to people (many, of whom are Christians) who accuse us of "shoving Christianity down someone's throat".

 Because we were in an area where athiests and new-agers were more common than professing Christians, we often would start the conversation with "do you believe in God?".  Sometimes the curt reply was followed by the door being quickly shut in our faces. We heard some of the undoubtedly lamest excuses ever for being too busy to talk. (ok, yes we've all made them :)

And then there were those people who said "I was just thinking about this", or "my buddies and I were just having a discussion about God the other night" and incredible conversations would follow.  We experienced the work of the Holy Spirit when we said things and found scriptures, we didn't even know we knew. I remember one time in particular when, after we had stated our reason for being on their porch, their jaws  dropped.They had just been talking to each other about how God was drawing them, and they knew they had come to a fork in the road and must decide. The timing of God leading us to certain doors, left us in awe. Week after week we had assurance that God was in what we were doing.

 Please note. There is a wrong way to go door-to-door. It is not my goal in this post, to teach someone how-to. But just as we tell Athiests not to let a bad experience prove there is no God, so I ask you, if you've had a bad experience with door to door-ing, don't brush off the potential that remains.

I could go on. And on. But I shall close with this. Its very important and must be grasped for you to understand where I'm coming from. Going 'door to door' isn't the crux of the matter. Speaking the Gospel is.  I just figured the example of us trainees standing on street corners with huge Jesus signs would be  a little much. ;-) My point is, however its done, wherever its done, is mostly irrelevant to the topic that is really on my heart to share with you. Our actions do speak so think about this: You know your self, your weaknesses and failures. If your friends or acquaintances only see your actions, but never hear of your God, where do you think they are going to spend eternity? Though its something we daily strive for as Christians, I know my actions aren't enough to reflect the perfect Son of God.

If you talk about everything and everyone else you love, why not Jesus?

Post 1 of 2 - Learning to Share
Read: Matthew 10:16-33

My first exposure to door-to-door witnessing came at a young age. Two men, nicely dressed in white button up shirts and ties and bearing backpacks, knocking on our front door. For most, I won't even need to explain. You've probably seen them riding their bikes down a street near you. (Pardon the stereo-type)

I don't claim to know a whole lot about what Jehovah Witnesses believe, though more recently, I can at least claim to have talked to a couple of them for more than a couple hours which was obviously very revealing. But back then I didn't know much at all about what they believed except that they thought they could earn their salvation by telling others to go out and tell others to get saved. Or something like that.
[Edit: Mom says they were Mormons (LDS), I stand corrected. Thats what I get for stero-typing. Hehe. Their beliefs about salvation are similiar I think, but I guess its the Mormons who ride bikes typically. ;-) We've had Jehovah Witnesses come to our door a couple of times too.]

As my mom explained to the ones at our door that day, that we were Christians and that they happened to be knocking on a parsonage door-- I stood behind her, listening and wondering. I couldn't swallow the irony. We were the ones with the Good News. Who should be knocking on whose door?

Fast forward a couple of years, and you will find me just starting out in the working world and striving to find the balance of living in the world but not of it. I often fell under conviction, that though I was confident of the Lord's work in my life, I was not confident to speak of it or give Him glory in places I thought I might be ridiculed, or horror, in places I might be considered to be "weird"  if I did. I'm not saying [my taking a bold stand] never happened, but its an embarrassing amount compared to the opportunities I had, that I didn't take.

In the summer of 2008 I took a couple days off work and attended a Voice of the Martyrs Conference. I sat there listening to the testimonies of those Christians who had died for their faith, praying that the Lord would give me grace should there ever be a time I had to endure severe persecution for the name of Christ. By the last session I was in tears, overwhelmed by the clarity of the call I had been smothering. It was, simply, to speak the Gospel. At this point, I knew, that no matter what case others and myself could give, fear of man was the ultimate reason I had not been free to share what was so clearly put on my heart. If I wasn't brave enough to speak His name, how could I be bold enough to die for His name?

I prayed, oh how I prayed, that the fervency I felt wouldn't leave me as I returned to work and the normalcy of daily life. It weakened, but it didn't leave. I remember being more apt to offer to pray for my patients and more than willing to pull out the Gideon Bible from their nightstand and encourage them to read it. Baby steps, but the story isn't over.

I'll post the rest soon. I know this is an uncomfortable topic for some. Feel free to be a silent bystander as  I post, and others discuss. But this part of my story and what I came to realize, aren't  mere matters of opinion. God says, "Whosoever therefore shall confess me before men, him will I confess also before my Father which is in heaven. But whosoever shall deny me before men, him will I also deny before my Father which is in heaven." Matthew 10:32&33 

I read an obituary in the paper today that made me smile. Whats with that? An obituary making someone smile?

It was for a 50 something year old man with Down Syndrome. The picture showed a cheery smile, a kind face.

It said he "enjoyed flopping his newspaper, drinking his Dr Pepper and going to worship. He enjoyed a very simple life and was a constant reminder to never take things for granted. He loved life and being with his family."

 It made me smile, and then it nearly made me cry for his family and friends. A family I've never met, friends who I don't know who they are. Yet somehow, by this short story, I had seen a glimpse of his life and what they all must be missing right now.

I wondered how many people would read his story and put it in the "successful people" category.

I wondered how many kids would read his story and say "I want to be like him, when I grow up."

I figured, not many.

Yet, I wondered how many people would be inspired by his story, touched by his smile, and moved by his testimony.

I figured, more than a few.

I wonder if we limit ourselves when we imagine that success is defined by popularity, indepenence, and A+'s.

I wonder if, when I die, people will remember whether or not I had a degree; or if instead they will remember whether or not I smiled a lot and how I treated other people. Did she talk about "me" or Jesus? And if she talked about Jesus, did she walk the talk?

I figure that though a lot of people have a lot of opinions as to what success might should look like, true success is actually very simple. Its being that person God created you to be. Its the person you already are, excelled to the limit.

I desire to succeed. But the only mold I want to fit in, is Christ's. I want to bear a quiet impact on the world and blow the limitations we've put on success at the same time. Taking a day at a time-- Lord use me.