For the Chronic Matchmaker

All matchmakers, pay close attention to detail.

...The number of times you mention his name has nothing to do with the odds of me actually falling in love with him.

...The simple fact that he goes to church proves absolutely nothing to me (romantically or spiritually!)

... The fact that you're his grandma, indicates to me I should automatically assume bias in anything positive you have to say about him.

... There is nothing about his dog being the most important thing in the world to him, that touches my heart.

...No matter how many pictures you show he does not grow any more handsome in my eyes than the first one I saw.

... When I say his kindergarten graduation picture is cute, I am referring to the chubby cheeks and big eyes--I am not comparing him to rest the of the men in the world.

... The fact that you care enough about me that you want me to be happily married someday, really does mean something to me, but I hate to see you disappointed.

... The fact that he is shorter than me is irrelevant compared to the fact that I am simply not looking to get married at the moment. (I have a funny feeling this one will come back and bite me someday.)

... The fact that I don't flirt with other men, does not mean I'm already in love with your grandson, whom [did I mention?] I have yet to meet.

Based on (a) true story(ies). Written without cynicism, rather only with affection for the sweet matchmakers-- and smiles for the ways they went about it. ;)


13 Reflections:

Melinda said...

That is sooo hilarious...I've read it more than once and I'm still laughing.
Little, cute old Matchmakers are so fun aren't they? =D

I had to laugh about the shorter than you one...I can sorta relate. ;) How tall are you?

Kaylene said...

I'm somewhere around 5'9" :) and you?

Melinda said...

I'm about 5' 8". :D

Anonymous said...

hahaha... hahahahahahahaha.... hahaha..... teeheehee.... hahahahahaha..... teeheeheeheheeheheeheeheeheehee....... hahhahahahahahaahahahahaha.....



~anonymous in name only.

Kaylene said...

I know who you are. :P are you laughing at what I had to go through??

Anonymous said...

I'm laughing at it in general... it's hilarity! :P you know guys get the same treatment right? I'm guessing the grandson in the article is tired of hearing about how great you are too.... lol

~anonymous in name only

Anonymous said...


Kaylene said...

good thing because I was about to blow your cover.

And yes we must all pity the man who has to hear much about me. :D

Anonymous said...

Hahaha...this is so funny Kaylene,and so true! We have had "pictures" shown to us (in an attempt to get our daughters wed), and comment after comment. Your dog line is so funny, if he LOVES LOVES LOVES his dog so much, will there be room for you (or any woman) at all, and you have to wonder why he loves his dog so much. It is always better to meet someone in person and let the Lord orchestrate the rest♥

Anonymous said...

This is SO true, Kaylene! :) Hilarious too!


Katie said...

Haha this is great! I have experienced this so many times!

I am in a relationship with a really amazing man right now. I recently found out that although our friends have wanted to see us together for years, they refused to set us up. They said that they believe that it needed to be in the Lord's timing and not their timing. I was so amazed by that, because it has been such a blessing to see the Lord work everything out. I'm not saying that it is always wrong to set people up, but I really think that to sit back and watch the Lord's work is a double blessing. :)

Katie said...

Oh, and I'm 5' 7"--and he's still a LOT taller than me. :)

Kaylene said...

Anonymous(2) and Katie -- I agree its great to see the orchestration of the LORD in these details!!

Katie! I'm excited for you and your transpiring relationship! I think its great to hear a testimony on a post like this. I'm in agreement-- God uses people in His orchestration sometimes, but in any area of life its neat to see how He can work w/o our help. (And wow. Cheers for friends with discretion and patience! )

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